Have you ever?

Can't believe it's been so long since I last blogged! My extensive readership (cue canned laughter) must be champing at the bit for another exposition of theological wisdom (more canned laughter). Anyways, life's been a little tough and I just haven't felt like writing. So like Slim Shady, I'm "Back again", this time with a question: have you ever read about someone in the Bible and thought, "That's me!" I guess many people have and reflecting on that I guess sometimes that insight is inspired by God. What about when we see a parallel between a person's actions and our own? What about when their actions, deeds, or lifestyle is not that savoury or Christian? Let that sink in...



One of my own, perhaps divinely inspired example is that of Saul, we all know the story; chosen by God, is disobedient to God, gets replaced by David. That could sum up my life between 2008 and 2016! Let me elaborate:

Chosen by God

In 2008 I was a senior executive in a massive IT company, you could say I was at the top of my game; earning an astonishing salary, living in an impressive house, going on multiple foreign holidays a year, etc. Then God called me, I mean really called me, like Samuel I heard him speak to me (I have changed tack a little here but at least Samuel is part of the same 'story' as Saul), in my head, on more than one occasion. The final time was when I heard the words "Get ordained" several times in my head during worship. So, without any hesitation I gave up my job and went back to school, and was chosen to lead a church at the end of my studies and training (I use the latter in the loosest sense, perhaps that's for another blog) and following my ordination. In 2014 I was tested to beyond breaking point when my wife of 18 years decided she had, had enough, left me and took the kids. My world fell apart (8 years later I found out that I had had a major mental breakdown but because I am diagnosed as a high-functioning depressive no one saw the signs). I continued to struggle through completing my education and training, got ordained, and started running a church. 

Disobedient to God?

1 Corinthians 10:13 says, "No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." So was I disobedient, did I chose my own way and not God's way, did I fail in the 'testing'? Did those around me, those in authority just not understand me and what was going on, could they not see where I was and continue to journey with me? I don't know, I will never know, well not in this world anyway. What happened after my life left was within the space of two-years I was divorced and had remarried, this was too much for the church and the Baptist Union who seem to call all the shots even though each church is considered 'independent' (I think I might have blogged about that before?). But at the crux I had caused a division in the congregation which I was leading as minister, so I fell on my sword and I resigned. I often ask myself was that the test? Should I have denied myself, took up my cross and truly followed Jesus (by not getting into a relationship and getting married so soon), and lived the life of a bachelor? I think I would have probably failed in that as well.

Replaced?

I always thought that my wingman, who was then studying at college to become a minister, would have replaced me as minister. He seemed the perfect, Godly, spiritual, and thoroughly decent human being that the role needed. But he didn't, his call was elsewhere, and he eventually settled as minister in another church, and they are very fortunate to have him. I don't know the minister who eventually replaced me, he came from foreign parts (the USA), so I cannot comment on him or his ministry. But I feel in deep down that this final part of the story with me acting as Saul is yet to be concluded. There is a David out there and perhaps like David he has been called, but has not been allowed to fully answer that call as circumstances are preventing that conclusion.

So I cannot truly say that Saul is me (I don't even own any spears), or that my wingman is David. I can speculate and ruminate have to wait on that answer. All I do know is that God has brought me a long way in the past 11 years and through some pretty awful experiences to where I am now: mentally put back together, safe in my own little nest, with a positive outlook on life. Praise Him!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Pompus?

Reading James the other day I was quite surprised to find the word “religious”. There in the midst of my favourite book of the Bible was a word that frequent readers of my blog will know often raises some comment from myself, if not my hackles, especially in a 21 st  century context. So, when I saw it there, having never noticed it before for some reason, I had to do some digging (vernacular for research) on why this word was used. A quick search revealed that “religious”, or “religion” is not a common word in the Bible, in fact it is only used 6 times, twice in James in quick session, three times in Acts, once in Colossians. Referring to one of the heavy tombs available to me in the form of Strong's Concordance - in fact although I do possess a copy I cheated and enquired of it online - I discovered that in Greek religious was θρησκὸς (thrēskos) and that it “refers probably to a careful observance of religious restrictions” and in a limited sense, it may mean devout. Further enqui...
Read more

Choose the Red Pill!

Image
  What we read in the closing chapters of Deuteronomy is both amazing and terrifying; God knew that in spite of all he had done and was about to do for Israel, that the people would still go ahead and rebel. He knew that they would, they knew that they would, and they knew that he knew they would, but they still did it. For me this speaks volumes about two things:  One is that we have complete and total free will before God, I utterly reject the doctrine of predestination because I believe that no matter how you package it, or what intellectual gymnastics you do with it, this cannot allow for free will. For the Old and New testaments and Gods message therein to be relevant then free will has to stand unadulterated.  Secondly, the wilfulness of the human condition; like Cypher in the matrix movie who, even though he knew that the matrix was an illusion, chose that illusion over the reality of freedom (you can watch it here ). We are presented with an excellent  analog...
Read more

Preaching to the Converted

As I have done myself of numerous occasions along with multitudes of preachers in a church context, I delivered sermons that were just telling people what they know already, telling them how it was. Yes this often involved clarifying points of scripture and encouraging people in their faith, but the messages whilst not falling on deaf ears was generally just going over somewhat familiar ground but in a new way. What we might call 'Preaching to the Converted'. However, in some cases a preacher will actually challenge the converted, assaulting the listeners ears and their faith, and getting them to ask themselves where they actually stand with God. Today I had the pleasure of one such sermon preached by a dear friend of mine at a local Baptist Church.  Speaking on Ezekiel 37 - the Valley of the Dry Bones - the preacher challenged us to reflect on our own situation, our own faith, our own Christianity by asking if we were in fact Dry Bones; did we come to church faithfully every S...
Read more